(image credit)
thing is, i've given up my social life and enough sleep, but I still don't have good grades. thats not very fair, is it?

plop

its funny how situations can change so quickly. a few weeks ago My sister seemed fine, she seemed miles away from everything that happened last year. But now, on the dawning week of our birthday, she seems no better than months ago. and there isn't a fucking thing i can do about it.

you cant make any kind of opinion published online
without having to expect people to claim you cant take a joke or start trying to have a political discussion..
it seems these days, its just better to be a mute with no opinion at all because otherwise you'll just get shot down.
why is tumblr full of nazi blogs and i've only just realised? i dont want to be reblogged by them.
i wish i'd never said anything.

1 photo of yourself

this doesn't look like me. probably becaus my eyeliner died or something.
And if your asking, i dipdyed my fringe. if your not, then i didn't..

Morbidity apologies

the comfort i seek and achieve on the basis that: i'm failing at everything. MO-FUCKING WIN.
what the fuck is the point? everything is a downard spiral.
school is discusting. i'm a slacker. i'll admit it. procratination is my middle name, but if you think this is a life style choice.. then fuck off.
motivation is rare and sparce.
falling behind is so easy. homework not done, what damage will missing one lesson do? coupled with 2 health/ medical events that put me into so much pain and also embarrasment, discomfort and body image dislike, left me hardly tempted to leave my bedroom, even during snow.
and then shabby attendance anyway. left me with a shit hole filled of shit. and im working on it. tomorrrow i will have gone to school everyday for 3 weeks. for 2 weeks now ive attended every single lesson. this is a an achievement for me. i know it is the norm expected of everyone, but standards slip. so i'm trying my best, and all i get is fuck all. im trying so hard but no one cares to even fucking acknoledge it. and they just pile more. why the fuck do we even bother?
the life cycle sucks. get born, get an education, get to uni, get a good job, get a family, get and retire, get dead.
surely there must be more than this? is it asking for too much? i look at adults now and wonder if there actually happy. is that actually what they want? or are they just doing so because its expected of them, its what there qualified. I look at my family in dismay. as far as im concerned nothing has turned out right anymore.I cant really envisage that my dad wanted to end up having to be the bone structure of my family, caring for my mum, holding my sister together, this cant possibly be what he wanted all along. why would anyone want that much responsibility.
detachment. it not because you dont care, its because its the only way you can handle it.
i dont even know what im living for.

2 songs

just 2 songs..? ugh...

1. Jerk it out- the Caesars
2. cant decide... Afghhgghhg ermmm trash the rental- crystal castles

3 Films

for the moment (cos these will change..)
1. The Wackness
2. Despicable Me
3. Easy A